Elective

This is a word I am coming to despise.

We got another letter from the company that manages the disability at my job yesterday. It said that I was being denied support for the 2 weeks I took off when we found out Mason was sick through the recovery of my surgery. Never mind the fact that my paychecks have not been what they used to since I've only been back to work a few weeks (it different pay periods which contribute to the low-ness of them) I can live off top ramen if I have to, what I don't appreciate is these companies classifying what happened to us as elective.

I didn't elect to be told that our baby was going to have a painful life, that the quality of it would be diminished... I didn't elect to wake up one day and realize my entire life had changed forever, I especially didn't elect to experience the ups and downs that have accompanied me on this journey. I did what I thought was right despite what these ass holes think. I think it's incredibly selfish to make anyone suffer unnecessarily- I think a lot of things... but I have to say that I am so very tired of having to fight for our decision. I'm tired of having to explain to people why we made the choices we did, and only then have them show any compassion. I think it's sad that helpfulness and sincerity have to be earned by a sad story.

Sometimes I get so angry at the world, myself, and all the things I don't understand but today I'm just mad... I don't have any way of elaborating about it. I'm just furious with the universe for all that we have had to go through, and all the people that elect not to help us.