I realize that this post is a few weeks early for Thanksgiving, but I have been feeling an overwhelming amount of gratitude in my life lately that I thought I should make sure I put it out into the universe.
1. Democracy: I honestly don't care which way you choose to vote in the election this week, as long as you voted. Both of my brother's served time in the military a lot of their time was after 9/11 and while I don't personally agree with most of the politics that surround the war. I am forever grateful to them and the men and women who have served or are currently serving our country. I appreciate all the people who worked hard to give me my rights, and for those who work to preserve them. Because of my experiences and decisions regarding Mason you can probably figure out who I voted for, but that's not important. I personally don't believe in taking rights away from people and I love that I live in a country where I am free to express that.
2. 2012: It was no secret that I despised 2012 for most of it's existence. If it was possible to kick a year's ass I would have been first in line. I went through so many changes and experiences that I never thought I would, and somehow managed to come out on top. This is an ongoing process of course... and I'm aware there is still 40+ days in the year, but I feel confident enough to say that 2012 went from practically killing me to becoming my bitch. Somewhere along the line 2012 helped me become the person that I've always hoped I could be. I'm more aware of myself and the most secure I have ever been in my life. I know most of that is from Mason, and I hope he never stops changing me. 2012, you can kiss my ass!
3. Faith: Over the last few years there have been pieces of my faith that I had lost. The lowest point was last January and I honestly thought I would never recover. I thought I would be angry at God forever but God is good, and patient and worked within me in ways I never knew before. Over time I started to allow myself to be in His hands and do His work on me. I stopped resisting for what was convenient and found happiness I never knew before. It's hard to describe what it feels like to have your faith restored but it's one of the greatest things I have to be thankful for. While I still have a hard time actually stepping foot into my church, I know as long as I put my faith in God I will be able to do this again some day. Right now, my relationship with God is a 'home schooled' version if you will, and right now that works for me.
4. My Husband: If I'm allowed to, I could talk about how lucky I am to be married to by best friend. In fact there are many posts where I go on and on about this partner of mine. We aren't perfect by any means, but we do have a remarkable partnership that works for us. I also happen to think he's smoking hot which doesn't hurt things ;) Through this year I found out more than ever that I picked the right person to spend my life with. Whenever he needs to really show up for me in life, he is always there and it usually involves little to no discussion about what we need to do that is right for us. I know this probably won't always be the case, but I hope that we always operate as a team and strive to put each other first. I think that's why some marriages have trouble, because they forget who is important: their partner.
5. My Family: I haven't always had the best relationship with my parents, and I am not particularly close to my siblings. It's sad but sometimes horrible things can bring people together and this year had that effect on my relationship with my family. I thought moving in with my parents and my sister would ruin everything we have built, and there are times that are hard, but for the most part that closeness we have developed has remained in tact. It's something I've always wanted growing up, and now I would do anything to protect it.
6. My Friends: This is where I consider myself extremely blessed. When I didn't have my family the way I do now, I had my friends. One of them, my best friend- and Averie's future Godmother- is the biggest blessing of them all. She is kind, she is smart and we've had the best times of my life together. She has been by my side for more than 8 years... I have known her for over 10 and have had the pleasure of seeing her blossom into this miraculous woman that I can only hope will rub off on Averie. I have had the pleasure of re-connecting with old friends from my childhood over the last few years and I like having a piece of my old self mixed with the person I have become. It's comforting to know you can still rely on the people you did when you were young. I'm not sure if a lot of people have this opportunity, but they should.
7. Averie Belle... my miracle. I know it's not up to her to make me a whole person, but I never felt like I was complete until I felt her kick for the first time. I always thought there were pieces of me that I would never get back. Not only from Mason, but from other parts of my life as well. I love my husband with everything I've ever known, but each day as she grows she grows my heart too. I never knew I could love anyone or anything so much, and I haven't even met her yet. I'm thankful for everything that 2012 has taught me, but I am forever in 2013's debt because it will give me my little girl. When I was young and I pictured myself having kids, it was always a little girl and I am more thankful to God, to the universe, to my husband, to fate... to everything that had a hand in giving me my dream of having a daughter.
There is so much I am thankful for, but those are the top of my list and deserve all the thanks in the world.
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