FBU

When someone makes something official these days they take straight to facebook and make it FBO. This weekend I decided to do some cleansing in the form of my facebook friends. I decided to delete anyone who is anything but positive, helpful and well... logical. I'm not sure why, but sometimes I feel like I don't to be on the same playing field as everyone else. I have had multiple interactions the last few weeks that suggest that I'm not allowed to make mistakes like the rest of the population. For whatever reason, I get treated like I have to be perfect all the time or it's like WWIII.

This I don't understand, is it all the things I have been strong through in the past, so that should mean i have to be strong all the time? I don't get it. I've come to the conclusion that I must be a magnet for people who love to push their insecurities off onto me. This weekend I was hardly perfect, in fact i even spent time forgiving myself for the mistakes I made- big and small- and came to the realization that sometimes that's all I can do when faced with an impossible situation.

They say that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it. I'm not so sure I agree with this... When I make a mistake its usually right away that I recognize it and immediately try to rectify it. Now, if any other parties involved aren't ready to do this then what am I supposed to do? As a teenager I used to agonize over this, because i couldn't stand people being upset, or myself staying upset at someone who tried to fix the situation. At some point in my life I learned to just remove myself from these situations and people who caused them.

I don't see what's wrong with recognizing a toxic personality or 'friendship' and removing yourself from being subjected to it. That doesn't mean I hate these people or will go out of my way to do anything.... actually it means i just wont go out of my way- to be nice or mean- i just don't care enough to put that kind of energy into it. Some of my friends tell me this is a problem I have, that I can just flip a switch and not care anymore. I must have learned it from some situation and in my opinion it works for me. Why is it a bad thing to keep yourself out of harms way? Why is it bad to not want to be publicly bullied or humiliated? Why is it a bad thing to recognize that there isn't a huge epic friendship in the works and move on?

I will have to go over this with my therapist, but I am thinking that seeing a bad pattern or potentially harmful situation and not allowing it to continue is actually a healthy plan of action. I can only be responsible for my actions and my insecurities, i cant take on yours too, and frankly- i just wont. I refuse to be someones punching bag or made the example because someone else can't deal with their own problems. I'm sometimes amazed at the amount of people who are supposed to be 'older and wiser' who have zero interpersonal communication and conflict resolution skills. This assessment isn't only my own interactions with some of these people, its what i had already observed up to this point.

I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to have any part of these people in my life... so why is it a problem for everyone else?