I have been so busy the last few months with the play, full time hours at work and trying to balance my fitness/friends/sleep that I stopped paying attention to my body. I went to the Dr for what I thought was exhaustion or stress related illness. I had been feeling super tired and weak... like when you are just getting a cold (I even had the runny nose) but it lasted for weeks so I figured I should go get it checked out.
I had also noticed that I hadn't ovulated in quite some time and started to get a little nervous. I figured while I was getting checked out for not feeling well, I should find out about that too. When I got to the Dr and started getting ready for my exam the Dr asked me when my last period was... I couldn't remember. Then I realized that I should of had my monthly gift weeks before my appointment. I was sitting in the Dr's office trying to answer the rest of the questions but my mind was racing a mile a minute. COULD I actually be pregnant? What would my husband say? When did this happen?
We weren't in the process of trying yet, but we weren't actively preventing anything either. Because I had been tracking my ovulation, we didn't worry too much about surprises. It felt like I was sitting in the exam room forever waiting for it to begin, when in reality it was only a few minutes, but I started to cry and started shaking. Not a huge meltdown but I couldn't decide which news I wanted to hear. If I was pregnant, of course I would be happy but it would be a huge UNPLANNED surprise. If I wasn't I would be devastated. I didn't have much time to figure out which emotion to go with because it was decided for me: the Dr told me I was pregnant.
To say I was shocked would be an understatement (even though I tried to prepare myself in the minutes before) and the tears were falling down my face before the Dr even finished assessing my ultrasound. The saying "People plan and God laughs" kept repeating in my head. The Dr couldn't tell from my ultrasound how far along I was so he sent me to do a blood test. I got my results the same day but they were low. Definitely a pregnancy detected but according to my scores i should have only been a few weeks pregnant, but based on my LMP I should be 8 weeks.
Because of my past this pregnancy is considered high risk until all tests can be run and come back normal. Also, because of my levels and my LMP not matching the Dr ordered more tests- I have to go back every couple of days for more blood tests to make sure that my HCG levels are rising appropriately and they pushed my next ultrasound out until July 30th. At that appointment they will nail down how far along I am and my due date. They are hoping we will get to hear a heart beat at this appointment.
Some may be wondering why we decided to announce our pregnancy before all the details have been set in stone. The answer is simple: we are happy. It's been so hard keeping it quiet the last few weeks and hard to come up with reasons why I wasn't drinking around my borderline alcoholic cast mates. We also figured that we have shared every single detail- good and bad- from our lives since January, and if for some reason this pregnancy doesn't progress we will take it on like we have everything else. For us, over sharing and working things out through this blog have been so helpful to us. I'm also not too good with secrets myself- so it was actually causing me more unnecessary stress worrying about keeping it quiet.
We told our immediately family members (parents and siblings) and anyone that needed to know. We asked them to keep it quiet until we were ready to announce it ourselves. There was a lot of debate on how to announce it, since our last announcement was on Halloween through our costumes but this time we decided to do it the old fashioned way (sort of) and just put it out there and let people find out organically.
I have a lot of mixed emotions regarding our sweet surprise, and I will update as I need to try and figure them all out, but for now we are -cautiously- excited about our news. We are prepared for anything at this point, but of course hoping for the best.
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