In the beginning I kept telling myself "Just make it to two weeks and then we'll see" once I made it to 2 weeks I sad "Ok, just make it to a month" then "the magical 6 weeks everyone keeps talking about when everything is supposed to click". That's around the time I wrote this post on breast feeding Everything wasn't coming up roses at 6 weeks so once again, I gave myself another goal- 3 months. Somewhere around the 3 month mark everything clicked and I fell in love with bf'ing and now I can't imagine my life without it.
It's so funny to think back on when I was pregnant and I knew nothing about bf'ing but I knew seeing other people doing it meant I would giggle and look a little too long. I was super immature because I didn't really understand how important it was. I also got weirded out thinking of this little person looking up at me while bf'ing. Now, those are my favorite moments. I kept telling everyone who was trying to shove bf'ing on me "I'll only do it for 3 months, longer than that is just weird." Boy was I wrong! I'm not afraid to admit, I was ignorant to the subject and I flat out had no idea how I would feel now.
The goal is to keep it up for a year, like the medical community recommends, but we will see how it goes. I've heard of many babies weaning themselves before the year mark. I can say with certainty I won't nurse past 18 months because for me, that's an appropriate time to stop. I will say though, the day Averie wants to stop bf'ing my heart will be broken into a million pieces.
I now understand why so many moms stop bf'ing when they go back to work. It's extremely difficult to continue the bf'ing relationship once you have to add work into your life balancing act. I'm lucky because I live in a state that has my back but that doesn't mean my pumping life is easy. I have to pump every 2-3 hours in order to keep up the supply my daughter is used to. That means I have to get up extra early to make sure I can get ready for work before it's time for her morning feeding. I have to time our feeds so it's right before I leave the house.
Every day when I get to work I get to have the
Despite the law being on my side, my co-workers are somewhat selfish people and don't always make my pumping life easy. The room I pump in, is the only one without cameras which happens to be our common lunch room. There is a door, but everyone has access to it. Despite me putting a large DO NOT DISTURB sign on the handle, I have been walked in on twice, interrupted for frivolous things countless times and have even had some of my pump parts go missing on me. The real kicker is that we are short staffed, which means I have to spend my pumping sessions worrying that someone is going to interrupt me to come help (which happens ALL THE TIME), watch the cameras for the same thing, and keep a cover close in case someone decides to ignore the sign and walk in on me again. My sessions are supposed to be relaxing so I can produce more milk, but I have yet to experience this kind of pumping session.
I'm not trying to say that they're all idiots (granted, some of them are haha) but they just don't understand. Not one person in my office has ever been in my shoes, so when they interrupt my session because they 'want a glass of water' (despite the fact that I walk around 5 mins before each session to remind people to get what they need out of the kitchen to avoid this) or they have a question or they just ignore the sign... it's really discouraging and every day I contemplate quitting this whole charade to make my life easier. In the end I tell myself "maybe tomorrow will be better", it never is but it helps me keep going.
There have been times where I completely forgot my pump at home, or a part that I cleaned the day before and left in the strainer... there were even times I remembered all my pump pieces but I didn't bring anything to pump it into. Luckily, there has been someone home to bring it to me, but I also work next to a baby store so I've been able to get things on the fly. What I've really found to help is having an extra pump. One stays at home and one stays in my car. That way I only have to remember to switch pieces after I clean them. With insurance paying for one of them, I didn't mind the expense for a battery powered one. True, they aren't as powerful so you may spend some extra time pumping (or just turning it to full power) but it's what is working for me.
My work wardrobe has proven to be interesting too. At my job we have to wear 'business casual' and it's super cute but a lot of it isn't really wip-out-a-boob friendly so I started bringing a small blanket with me to sit on in case I have to hike up the bottom of my dress. I get cold easy too, so it's nice to wrap around my shoulders while I pump too. Warmth helps the flow of milk, so it's a win/win.
I tried a few milk producing products when I first returned to work because I was convinced that I wouldn't produce enough but nothing worked as well as keeping hydrated. I drink so much water in a day I feel like I'm always in the ladies room, but it's worth it when I get 6oz in a 10 min pumping session. I've also come to realize that I will always pump more milk during my first session, than in my last.
I don't know if I'm the only nursing mom to realize this, but I know which boob is my 'power boob' so I try to plan my actual feedings with the baby on the opposite side so I can pump with my power boob and get more milk. I haven't had any issues with leaking or engorgement, but I also have a regular work schedule.
Despite all the things I find annoying, pump pieces being stolen and all the extra work it takes at night to make sure I am ready for the next day, I am happy to do it because it means I get to keep nursing. My daughter doesn't have any issues anymore with latching after a bottle feed, so it's smooth sailing when I'm with her and I get to enjoy our bonding time. I could change everything and make my life easier, but in reality I wouldn't change a thing because it makes my life better.
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