Switching Gears

I'm learning that many things in my life are forever evolving and changing. As much as I love the concept of change and know it's necessary I am still surprised whenever I come to face it. After a quick freak out I adapt pretty well (most of the time) and my latest Dr visit threw me a change that I actually embraced quicker than normal.... who knew I could have a normal moment haha?

I went in for my regular check up with my midwife and had spent the night before up sick puking my guts out. This doesn't happen as frequently as it did in my first two trimesters, but I still have a few bad days here and there... no biggie...so to say I looked anywhere near to my normal self would just be a lie.

The minute I walked in she knew something was up. I tried to let her know it was just from being sick but she said that couldn't be all and then she did what she does best: ask the questions I don't ask myself that get me to cry and admit what's really going on. She said she picked up on my level of stress immediately and was concerned. I must have poured my heart out to her for over an hour while we discussed each and every aspect of my life and while I kept suggesting I knew how to fix it she would shoot me down. What do you mean I can't do everything? What do you mean slow down? I've never been the type of person to take a break or sit still and I guess it was taking more of a toll on me than I thought.

Then she suggested I take time off work to focus on my GD diet and exercise schedule. At first I was completely against it, because that would mean admitting that I haven't been doing as good of a job as I thought balancing work and my numbers. There was also the part of me that enjoys my job and the people I work with, and I wasn't ready to let them down yet. I guess I wasn't ready to admit defeat but it was right there in my food and monitoring journal- my numbers were only getting higher and higher and I'm maxed of of insulin. She had also reviewed my previous visits with other doctors regarding my dizzy spells and my back pain and was shocked that taking me out of work hadn't come up sooner. Well... it had... I just flat out refused the other times before that. For some reason hearing it from her made me actually take a minute to listen and realize she was right.

Thankfully I am not on bed rest, and somehow this week I've ended up being busier and working harder than I would if I had kept my shifts at work. I have set a great schedule for myself that perfectly balances all my GD requirements as well as giving me a sense of feeling productive throughout the day. It is definitely a change, but one I am able to embrace. Here is a look at what my new schedule typically looks like.

-8:00: Wake up and take blood sugar, then do my morning insulin injection. I really wanted to make sure I wasn't wasting this time sleeping in each day and becoming lazy.
-8:20: Make a GD approved breakfast
-8:30-8:50: Morning exercise (now I am still limited to the intensity of workouts by my doctors so I usually take my dog for a nice long walk)
-9:20: Test my blood sugar
-Between my 2nd blood testing and lunch I usually work on a project. It's most often the nursery but I've also been running errands and doing things to get ready for the baby shower.
-10:30: Have my morning snack- this is a great part of my day because it usually means dairy... i <3 dairy haha
-12:00: Lunch
-12:20-12:50: Mid day exercise- this depends where I am or what I'm doing. If I'm out running errands I make sure to leave some for after lunch so I can get my walking in. If I'm at home I'll walk my dog or do some prenatal yoga. I have this great book about pregnancy week by week and they have a new exercise every week and I'll try to work one of those in as well
-1:00: Test my blood sugar
-Usually after this I'll try to take a nap- my back is always hating me at this point in the day
-3:30: Have my afternoon snack
-Between my snack and dinner I'll try to do more productive things but I try not to be on my feet during this period to give my back a break. I've been doing a lot of painting and online bill paying ect...
-6:00 or 7:00: Dinner
-7:20-7:50: Evening exercise... this all depends on the weather. If it isn't too cold my husband joins me and the dog for another walk or if I have to stay in, we've been known to dance around the kitchen. He's very supportive of being a goof ball ;)
-8:00 Test my blood sugar
-Between here and my late night snack I can usually be found cuddling in bed with my husband and animals or hanging out with my family. This is probably the best gift of my leave- to have the time during the day to get everything else done so I'm not completely exhausted and passing out after dinner.
-10:30: Late night snack- this one is my favorite... peanut butter toast! I know it sounds lame but when so much of your diet is dictated its the little things that make me happy!
-11:15: Take my nightly insulin shot
-11:30 or 12am is when I usually get to bed for the night
-4:00am (almost on the dot) The baby wakes me up and forces me to use the rest room and when I get back in bed its my favorite time because she moves SO MUCH so it's like my little gift of the day.

It's only been about 3 days of this but I am very much in love with my new schedule and the fact that I am already seeing an improvement on my blood sugar numbers and my back is having less flare ups. I've even gone 3 days without a single dizzy spell! I've also noticed (even with a bad cold right now) I am so much happier. I don't feel guilty for half doing 20 things... I may only get 10 things done now but I get them completely done and that leaves me way more fulfilled. I also know that I can truly speak to my new blood sugars and not feel bad about missing the hour mark and testing late. I don't feel guilt over skipping the snacks because I'm too busy at work... For once I am doing everything by the book and for my type-a personality it gives me more satisfaction than I think I can describe.

I also feel thankful that I'm not on bed rest. I don't have to feel guilty about running errands or meeting my husband for lunch. I am thankful for the people I work with and their support of me taking this time off. I'm thankful to my family and my husband who were happy I finally listened to the Dr instead of treating me like I was taking the easy way out. (That last part is just my own insecurities- i know logically no one views this leave that way) AND! I have an appointment with a therapist (another thing my midwife recommended for this transition) next week. I'm finally feeling like I can switch gears guilt free and it feels amazing!