March 10th I went to the hospital as scheduled to begin the inducing process. I have to ask for your patience on the rest of Averie's birth story as it definitely deserves it's own post but I'm not sure she will stay asleep long enough for me to write it tonight (oh the life of a new mom!) The short version is I was in labor for 26 hours, only pushed for 20 minutes (don't ask me how many pushes I have no clue) and she was 10 minutes from being born on the 12th. I promise the whole story is worth waiting for.
March 12th Averie was only 11 hours old when the lactation consultant made a comment that Averie looked a little yellow. I didn't know what that meant and honestly didn't see it so I didn't think much of it. A few minutes later the hospital's pediatrician came in and examined her but didn't say anything to make us worry. 2 hours later she returned and informed us she wanted to admit Averie into the Special Care Nursery (a step below the NICU- but equally as scary in my opinion) for jaundice. I couldn't believe that I had barely spent a night with my baby and they already wanted to take her away. Especially when I didn't even see the yellowing in the skin that they kept talking about, she was just my perfect baby. We didn't have much time to think or adjust to the situation because just minutes later they were taking her to the SCN.
Unfortunately at that exact moment some family came to visit the baby (not knowing of course what was going on) and I knew more were going to show up. Instead of breaking down and crying while my husband and my baby disappeared (I couldn't go I was experiencing heavy bleeding and was supposed to stay off my feet) I had to put on a brave face for the family that was in front of me and had to inform all the upcoming visitors there wasn't anyone to visit at this point. All I wanted was to have a minute to process everything and be with my husband but I didn't get that- I had to entertain and pretend to be ok. (Although I'll admit I probably did a horrible job.) Here she is in the SCN:
Jaundice is still confusing to me, so here is the WebMD.com explanation of it: "Jaundice is a condition that makes a newborn’s skin and the white part of the eyes look yellow. It happens because there is too much bilirubin in the baby’s blood (hyperbilirubinemia). Bilirubin is a substance that is made when the body breaks down old red blood cells. Jaundice usually is not a problem. But in rare cases, too much bilirubin in the blood can cause brain damage (kernicterus). This can lead to hearing loss, intellectual disability, and behavior problems.
Averie's bilirubin was extremely high for only being 13 hours old, so we are extremly thankful to the lactation consultant that spoke up about her hunch, because she saved our baby from having serious complications. Averie's case was unique because she has my husband's blood type instead of mine, again it's hard to explain so I'm going to let WebMD do it: "People without Rh factor on the surface of their blood cells are Rh-negative and have Rh incompatibility with blood that is Rh-positive. This incompatibility means that when exposed to Rh-positive blood more than once, the immune systems of people with Rh-negative blood produce antibodies to destroy the Rh-positive blood cells." Basically she had mine and Kev's blood type fighting it out... They had her in one of those enclosed plastic incubator-looking cubes under bililights. The lights helped her body get rid of the bilirubin through poop of all things.
My husband and I were the only ones who could go into the SCN because it was full of babies but honestly I was a little glad for their rules. All I cared about was Averie getting better and I was happy not to have to worry about accommodating every one's visits or to deal with their emotions. Our families are amazing and super supportive and for most of Averie's grandparents she's the first baby and I knew what was happening was happening to everyone but I just couldn't care about them: my entire focus was on my baby. Averie was in the SCN for 6 days. I was only in the hospital for 3 but I had some incredible nurses that hid me in an unused room for an extra day so I could be close. The rest of those days were spent going back and forth from our home to the hospital (which thankfully was only 10 mins away) for each feeding. Every three hours we went to the hospital, but it was worth it because we were with our baby.
At first we weren't even allowed to hold her then each day it got a little better... they started letting us hold her for 20 mins (long enough to give her a bottle) and then it got longer and longer and finally on day 4 they let me try to breast feed. (Also worth it's own post later) It took a while but she got it, and I didn't mind how long it took because that meant we got to hold her longer. On day 5 her yo-yoing bili levels finally went down enough to take her off the lights but not enough to come home. We spent our 8 year anniversary as a couple at the hospital, but 2 days later, on our 2 year wedding anniversary we got the best present: Averie got to come home! It also happened to be St Patricks Day so we came prepared with an adorable clover outfit- it really was adorable, even the nurses wanted to take pictures of her. Here she is: my everything
She's 3 weeks old now and is doing great. We've had a couple of follow up appointments and her bili levels have continued to improve. She still has a little yellowing to her skin, but the pediatrician said that will last until she's a few months old. I still don't really see it, to me she's perfect. At her 2 week checkup she gained 10 ounces and 1.5 inches. She is growing so much, even her adorable puffy cheeks are starting to go away... which I hate because I'm obsessed with those cheeks! She is a super smiley baby. No really, she smile's non-stop. People don't believe me until they meet her and see it for themselves. She is very mellow, which my husband and I appreciate, and hoping it lasts but not holding our breath lol.
Motherhood is amazing. It's completely different than what I thought it would be. I thought after a few weeks I would be ready for a break... and sometimes I am for maybe 10 minutes, not going to lie... but I never knew I could love something so much. I thought I was as obsessed with my husband as much as one person could be, but then I saw him holding my daughter and it's like I grew another heart and it's so full. I never really believed people when they said it changed their whole lives but I'm here to confirm its true. It's only been 3 weeks and I already have no idea what I was doing with my life before her. Literally nothing in my life has made more sense than being her mom. It's amazing how quickly the switch is flipped and your whole world and sense of being changes. It's truly amazing.
For Easter we had decided long ago that we didn't want to do anything. We knew Averie would only be a few weeks old and traveling was definitely out of the question, especially because the baby is 99% breastfed. (Kev gives her a bottle of my expressed milk at night so I can get a little break and some sleep) and honestly... i JUST freakin gave birth... I don't care about keeping up appearances for a holiday right now lol My husband and I just wanted to stay home and enjoy our baby. He made us dinner which is always nice, and we dressed her in a beautiful dress from her Godmom and we stayed home and cuddled in bed most of the day. I took advantage of my husband being home and got some laundry done too- it's funny how a great day's definition changes as your priorities change isn't it?
April should be more of the same... me at home with the baby enjoying our alone time together. We are hoping to have a gathering where the rest of the family can meet her (only our parents and siblings have met her thus far- we've asked everyone else to hold off so we can have time as a family to get adjusted) and of course my birthday is next week. I've asked for cash, my car cleaned and a tattoo for my birthday. I want to get Averie's footprint tattooed next to Mason's on my back. The cash is for new clothes- I've lost over 30lbs since Averie was born and I'm hoping to loose more once the doctors give me the ok to work out. I haven't looked this skinny in YEARS and I'm loving it! Hopefully I'll get a chance to update before the end of the month. Stay tuned for Averie's birth story and my breastfeeding journey. I hope everyone had a blessed Easter!
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