A Social Media Experiment

A few days ago my husband and I decided to take a break from Facebook. We are going to spend the month of February without fb and all the things that go with it. FB can be amazing when it comes to keeping in touch with friends that we haven't seen in years, and those we recently moved away from. I love seeing the major life events of my friends and family right when they happen. I love that I can be exposed to so many different views and opinions, and frankly- I love that I can scroll over the ones I don't care for! When someone figures out how to do that in real life, please let me know!

What I don't like is the pressure to have fb etiquette, and the overwhelming sense that we are all living double lives. I know I am right now at this point in my life. No one's life is as good as they try and play it out online. However, I don't think fb is the place to air all your dirty laundry (something I unfortunately didn't grasp a few years ago) so there is a delicate balance that I'm just not interested in trying to master right now.

My personal fb feed hasn't been as truthful as my blog or as truthful as personal conversations. I think fb is better to share funny stories, pictures, to keep in touch with old friends, but not to tear down myself or to be negative so I am very careful what I post, and how I write it. I don't want to be that person on fb bringing everyone down. At the same time, everyone goes through hard times and right now that's my reality and it's best left with me, not the entire interweb.

So... I made the decision to walk away for a while so I can work on myself. Leaving fb for a month is the first step to that. Why is it so important to me to try this? Mainly to prevent that stinkin app from getting in the way of me actually accomplishing what I am trying to do: spend some time with myself and my family free of distractions. As much as I hate fb sometimes for the dumb things that people post, I am also truly addicted to it. I love that little time waster... but I am always on the path to self improvement and I think I can benefit from putting down my phone and living in the moment. Truth be told, I put far too much self worth into how many 'likes' something gets. That's just sad.

I read articles all the time in my parenting magazines about unplugging and living in the moment and I was way too dependent on technology in my daily life to practice what I was reading. For some reason, I have suddenly decided that I'm ready (isn't it insane that I have to talk myself out of using social media like people have to decide their ready to stop smoking?! How is this possible haha!) Anyway, I'm pretty excited about it! I plan to do a lot more reading- my pumping breaks at work are usually fb dominated and my kindle cue is paying the price. I want to get back into painting, I haven't even attempted to paint anything since I was pregnant. I want to spend time working on my home. This is going to be our home for at least a few years and I want it to be a place I can be proud of and feel comfortable in. I want more time to blog... I miss this outlet.

The biggest and happiest surprise in my decision was that my husband wanted to do it with me. I told him my plan to unplug and he mentioned that although he rarely posts anything, he is always checking it. He liked the idea of trying it out for a set amount of time too, so together we decided February would be the perfect month to do it (maybe because it's the shortest?) haha who knows, but I am so excited to have him experience this with me. We decided that instead of deleting our fb we are going to change each other's passwords to keep each other honest! I think it'll be fun, and it'll help me get back to feeling more like myself. I just love that he totally supports me, even in the little things. (and social media in the grand scheme of things is totally a little thing- just to convey that I do, in fact, have perspective on life haha).

Everything in moderation though, we aren't leaving the Internet all together. I still have a house to DIY and decorate, and I need my friend Google to do that. We both have a healthy love for Instagram, so we decided to keep it. If you read this blog because I post it on my fb, you might want to bookmark it and check in with us during February to see how our unplugged detox is going. As always, I will still be on Pinterest too (hey, I have a 1st birthday to plan!)

An Honest Update

I've been struggling with the question "So how do you like living out here" since we moved in October. Usually I just say I like it and move on, with my friends my face gives away the real answer but I'm still having a hard time putting into words. How do I explain how I'm feeling without coming off as an ungrateful bitch?

I am so happy to have a house, in fact, it's one of the only things keeping me sane. The fact that I can pour all my time and attention (and money... yikes) into it really helps distract me from the feeling of loneliness that plagues me every day. I know what you're thinking.. I have my husband and baby... plus my in laws are literally next door... there is even my husbands entire extended family down the street. So how do I end up feeling so alone? As much as I love them (and I seriously do) they aren't mine. My entire extended family is strewn across the US, but my immediate family has always been in close proximity to me. YES they annoy the heck out of me sometimes, but they're still my family and the fact is, I've never lived in a place where I had to go so long in between visits.

The same goes with my friends, I have been blessed with some of the best friends in the world and I really miss being able to grab the baby and go visit them at a moments notice. I am basically just missing my entire support system. Up until 2 weeks ago I was working so much and spending a ton of my time commuting so I felt totally cut off from everyone, including my husband and baby. I hated that I was never around and I could feel myself falling back to my introvert ways (like when we lived away from home and it was just the two of us.)

Some of it is my social anxiety, and some of it is the fact that I've been so tired between working, home improvement, watching our daughter and trying to still do the normal human being things like showering and eating but I haven't really put myself out there to grow any bonds between my husbands family or to make any new friends. Part of me doesn't want to (because as I've mentioned I already have the best friends in the world) I also need a REALLY good reason to spend any time away from my daughter.

That brings me to another topic, it hasn't escaped me that the 2 year anniversary to my surgery has come and gone. I didn't have any major meltdowns or any huge revelations... I just felt the same as I did during the holidays- a little down. I wouldn't categorize myself as depressed, but I would definitely say that things haven't been easy for me emotionally (or financially) and there isn't much I can do about it right now, except to keep doing the things I need to each day. One bright spot in all of this is my daughter. She is my entire world, and while I was home with her today I was thinking about Mason, and I think he gave me a gift of selflessness.

I was thinking about when I was pregnant with him and the kind of person I was. I definitely lived for attention, I needed everyone to know every detail about my pregnancy and I was still a pretty selfish person. The minute that pregnancy changed, most of my personality did too. I got through it, but it wasn't without scars, and those scars are still evident to me every day. The other thing I got from it was a new outlook on what I needed in life vs what I wanted in life. I think that's why I'm so obsessed with my daughter, and how I'll gladly drop everything for her. I think that's why it's so hard for me to talk about being unhappy here, because I know in the end, it's the best decision we could have made for her. She's the reason behind all my decisions, and I'm just trying to figure out how to live with the latest one. That sounds a bit more dramatic than I intended it to, my reality is just different than what I thought it would be like moving out here.

I am starting to make changes though, I got a new job where I make more and have to work less.. a win/win in my book. I actually like my job, mainly because I don't have to think about it once I step out of the office. I really love that I'm home by lunchtime and get to spend the whole day with my daughter. It's only been 2 weeks but I can see I made the right decision. It didn't help us financially at all, but I'm happier and to me that makes me richer than before.

Our finances have been a struggle, which is new for me. I don't mean to sound spoiled... Kev and I have never been wealthy but we've always managed and even had room for fun. This move was supposed to help us get out of debt but that hasn't been the case. Our income went down- Kev could transfer with the same company but only at part time and my initial move with the bank was lateral. Our expenses went up- we're now paying bills we didn't have before so our bank account is always mad at us. Luckily, this isn't something we argue about. No one is at fault, it's just our current circumstance and we are both working hard to get out of it. That's something we both recognize luckily. I know it's hard for my husband though, he gets the brunt of my frustrations and I really don't give him enough credit for knowing how to deal with me.

I know it's only been a few months, and that helps me go through the day- to- day too. Just because I'm having a hard time adjusting doesn't mean I can't enjoy some of the perks of having our own property. We are trying to adopt a dog for Averie. She loves our in laws lab, and we really want to get her a friend to grow up with. Picking the right dog has been a process, but we're hoping to make an addition to our family soon. As far as the other kind of addition to the family, we have firmly decided to wait until October to get back on the baby making train. We want time to get our finances in order, time for me to work on getting in shape, time for Averie to enjoy our full attention, time to finish our house... noticing a theme here? We'd just like some time to figure things out without wasting too much of it and creating too big of an age gap between kids. The fact that I hate being pregnant isn't rushing me into it either haha

I never know how to end these... I have always been honest here, and this post was long overdue... so... did I mention I'm super awkward?

*I didn't have time to go back and clean up my mind dump, so please forgive any weird worded sections and tangents!

Some DIY Party Prep

I know I haven't been updating like I used to, and I promise I will one of these days. There have been so many changes and our lives are so different since we moved. I'm having trouble putting it into words, but I am here today to share a few of the decorations I've made for Averie's upcoming 1st birthday. Seriously... where did the time go? I feel like I was just counting down the days until she was here... Note to self: finish her birth story before her 1st birthday!

Anyway, I've been playing around with more DIY projects since moving (as you can see in my last post) but with a strapped budget and a guest list of 90 (yes 90) people for her birthday I'm trying to do as many things myself as I can. Pinch those pennies girl!

Update: Here she is in the finished projects! Just in time for those birthday invites. These photos were taken at Picture People.

Here's the first one: A head piece for a princess

I went to the craft store and found a couple pieces of lace that I thought might make a pretty crown. The top one is a thicker almost crochet-like material and the 2nd one is straight cotton. I wasn't sure which would work better so I decided to try both. (I got about 3 yards of both because I wanted to make extra ones for the party) I cut them into 8" pieces and laid them flat.

 

Then I used my fingers to layer thin, even coats of the fabric stiffener onto the lace. It took about an hour and half for each coat to dry before I could do the next one. I did it on parchment paper and would move them every 45 minutes so they weren't soaking in the stiffener. It helped them dry faster.

 

I used Stiffy brand fabric stiffener... you could use Modge Podge too but this was a bit cheaper. For the paint, I used Martha Stewart craft paint- they had a 2 for 1 deal so I got silver and a silver sparkle.

 

When they were dry I just painted them with the silver paint. It was pretty quick, because of the stiffener the lace didn't soak up much color. I only painted the front of the lace too, they were thin enough that they looked silver from the back.

 

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I waited until the paint was dry and then played with them both and decided the top crochet-like material was the best crown. They bended easily without cracking. Then I just hot glued it into a circle.

 



 

I debated on how to attach it to my daughters head. I even bought a stretchy headband material but ultimately decided that a headband would hold the circular shape the best. I hot glued it to the headband with no problems.

 

And here you have it, a crown fit for a princess.. or an almost one year old.

 

 

Now, every princes needs a sparkly birthday tutu to go along with her crown right? They're pretty expensive so I searched Pinterest for a way to make one myself. I'm not much of a sewer so I found a few tutuorials (see what i did there haha) and figured out the best way to make it with as little work possible. Really... it's easier than you think.

 

At the same craft store I picked up 3 yards of a plain, silver tulle. 2 yards of a sparkly tulle and 2 yards of a lavender ribbon.

 

 

I didn't do a whole lot of measuring. I just folded the tulle in half and cut it.

 

 

Then I folded it in half again and cut it.

 

Folded it in half again and... you guessed it... I cut it.

 

And one last time gave me the desired width I was looking for, so with one more cut I was good to go. If you went to Kindergarten then you know that there are 2 folds- a hamburger and a hot dog fold. The hot dog is longer in length- and I just folded my tulle in hot dogs only to get this shape.

 

 

For the plain silver I did the exact same thing. The reason it looks bigger is because I started with 3 yards of the plain tulle. The reasoning behind it? It was cheaper so I got more of it, I figured the sparkly one would be more of an accent. The plain was 1.99/yard and the sparkles? I whopping 7.99 a yard. Yowza!

 

 

Then I just tied the ribbon around my leg to keep it steady and pulled the tulle through itself in a loop stitch. Forgive me, but both my hands were busy and I couldn't take a picture of this step. Basically you fold the piece of tulle in half, hold the bent part over the ribbon and feed the open side through the loop. I just alternated sparkly and plain tulle pieces- it took about 30 minutes to fill about 18" of the ribbon.

 

Here you have the finished no-sew product. It is way more sparkly in person, and I really like that this is something that can grow with her with the adjustable string and a little spacing of the tulle. None of it is secured permanently, so I didn't feel bad spending as much as I did on tulle.

 

 

Annndddd... one more gratuitous shot of the finished pair.

 

 

I have one more project that I made for a centerpiece on one of the tables at her party. It's basically a hybrid of two projects I saw over on my other favorite blog: Young House Love. I made a custom "A" for Averie using their Painted Cardboard Letters and their Fabric Covered Monogram. I wanted to pick a fabric that would work in her room, because I knew I wanted to keep it after the part to display in her room. So I followed their tutorials and I'm pretty happy with the results. Just in case you don't feel like going through the links above, here's how I did it. (but seriously- you should read their blog on the reg... it's amazing)

 

This project has a lot of steps- but they are all super quick and easy, promise!

 

 

This is an extra large cardboard A from the craft store.. it was 1.99

 

 

I used an exactoknife to cut off the top of the letter.

 

Then I used some fine grit sandpaper to get off all rough edges.

 

Since silver is one of the primary colors at her party I decided to use the Martha Stewart paid from earlier on the edges of the A.

 

Normally when you are going to cover a letter, you want to flip it over backwards.. but since mine was an A I just left it right side up. I did turn the fabric face down to trace it, I just thought it would be easier to see it.

 

I used a blue highlighter to trace the A, it's what I had on hand that wouldn't bleed through the fabric. It worked great actually. It'll be my go-to in all my future fabric tracing projects ;)

 

When I cut it out, I purposely cut inside the lines, I didn't want the fabric to go up the sides of the A, I wanted it to lay flush inside it.

 

I used the same Stiffy fabric stiffener because I had it on hand, but again you can use Modge Podge... they work the same in this case. I used an old paint brush that I didn't care about, just in case the glue was hard to clean off (spoiler: it wasn't)

 

I layered a thin coat of Stiffy on the bottom of the letter.

 

Then I carefully laid the fabric into the letter. If you work quickly, it's pretty easy to manipulate.

 

Then I just dripped the Stiffy directly onto the top of the fabric, working the brush and glue over to coat it completely.

The corners were tricky to get with the brush. It kept pulling it up, so I just used my fingers to smooth the glue into the corners.

 



 

Here's my finished A! I'm kinda obsessed with it.

 

So there ya have it, a few easy and quick projects that saved me money, and they were fun to make. The best part is we can enjoy them after the party too! Happy crafting!