Food Woes For Real

Pardon the long pause between posts, the Internet at our place hasn't been working since before Christmas, and it wont be fixed until after the new year... so this over-sharer who depends too much on this blog to figure out her own feelings has been going a little crazy. Instead of writing an emotional piece of what I am currently going through (I don't know about you, but I don't enjoy crying in public) I thought I would write about my progress with GD.

I really was shocked to find out I have gestational diabetes because I truly do eat healthy, and while I have been banned from my favorite exercises like zumba and running, my pregnancy books have a 'move of the week' that I follow. Little things like squats and leg lifts and stretches ect... i lost 25 pounds at the beginning of my pregnancy (Duchess Kate and I are BFFs) only to have gained back 5 at this point. I went into last week's appointment skeptical that there was much else I could do- I just had this feeling that I would end up being one of those unlucky women stuck taking daily insulin shots. Before I get into that, let me give you some insight into the food of my daily life...


My life with food pre-pregnancy was annoying on it's own. Here is a list of things I couldn't have before for various reasons:

1. Nuts (make your jokes) I am highly allergic to most nuts... I still eat peanut butter but at a price... I get a rash but its not full-on hives so most of the time I don't mind dealing with it. Usually the benefits of it outweigh my annoying rash but other nuts I avoid because I don't really like them and the rash is worse for some reason.
2. Aspartame (splenda is made from this) It causes severe migraine headaches that usually ended up with me sick to my stomach
3. Processed foods like American cheese, what i call 'fake' chocolate (or cheap chocolate), and most sausages or hot dogs... they also give me a rash so i tend to avoid them... plus EEW!
4. Most meat: I'm not not a meat inclined person... i love most vegetarian dishes. I wish I could write about some moral obligation against meat, but I just prefer not to eat it because I don't really like it.

When I got pregnant there were even more foods I had to stay away from... Here is the list of things my doctors told me to avoid (please don't ask me the clinical explanation on why... i just follow directions lol):
1. Deli meats... which stinks because I would have a sandwich almost every day for lunch
2. Undercooked meats or raw fish. I LOVE sashimi and crave it like crazy for some reason. I've just stayed away from steak because when I actually want steak I like it rare, and if I can't have it rare then what's the point of having it ya know?
3. Coffee. Now I'm not gonna lie, there is no way I could stay away from coffee completely. I can safely have 200mg a day so I have 1 cup which is no where near that. That's a huge deal for me since I usually drink it up until I go to sleep.
4. Runny eggs. I freaking love them but I can't have them ;( so again, why bother eating any if I can't have them cooked the way I like them?
5. Fish. Just the smell of it makes my stomach turn, so while I loved it pre-pregnancy I haven't wanted anything to do with it since 6 weeks in.
6. Salt (to prevent bloating) I'm fairly short, so I don't need any extra 'help' .. especially from foods I don't really need or like

SO- this is what a day in the life of my eating habits consists of (before the GD diet)... These first 2 are always the same every day no matter what I am doing, it's very exciting haha. I eat almost every 2 hours to ward of nausea, which works for me because i get full VERY quickly.

Breakfast- Black coffee and a banana
Snack- Yogurt
Lunch- Can be any of the following: a pb&j, soup, salad, macaroni and cheese, bagel and cream cheese, or chowmein (one of my biggest cravings)
Snack- Crackers (because usually i feel sick after lunch), fruit or a little of whatever i didn't finish at lunch
Dinner- my parents cook just as much as we eat out, but usually by dinner i get full after a couple of bites so i don't worry too much about what I'm eating. i usually go for the healthiest option of whatever they are having... my parents are both diabetic and have high cholesterol so they're pretty careful what they eat as well, and I don't usually eat meat.. so dinner consists of side dishes mostly.
After dinner snack- fruit with peanut butter, celery with peanut butter or a hard boiled egg with cheese
Late night snack- i do have a sweet tooth and keep a stash of sour candies by my bed (another huge craving) but because they're sour I can only eat a handful at a time. A few times a week I have 3-4 oreos and milk- because I'm one of those weirdos that actually sticks to serving sizes listed on packages, and i always have half of a peanut butter sandwich so i don't wake up sick to my stomach.

As you can see my daily diet is pretty boring, so when we factor in the requirements of gestational diabetes, there isn't a whole lot to be excited about. Basically I have to watch my carbs (so sad... i love carbs! carbs carbs carbs, get in my belly) and I can no longer have fruit juices, soda's- which is fine, I was never a huge soda drinker, except for my random cravings for root beer and I am being forced to eat meat on a daily basis. (My iron levels were very low) I also have to eat 6 meals a day which is hard because I'm basically always full. So here is my food life since conforming to the GD Diet: ppssstt... this is the general diet based on my meetings with a nutritionist who helped me shape the GD diet to my own needs.

Breakfast- Bagel and cream cheese and coffee
Morning Snack- yogurt
Lunch- a sandwich, or a salad with a protein included
Afternoon Snack- cottage cheese or cheese slices with milk
Dinner- a palm sized protein (usually chicken), a cup of a starch (usually pasta of some kind) and a huge portion of veggies (my favorite part- especially when my hubby is cooking them)
Late Night Snack- either peanut butter toast or 1/2 peanut butter sandwich with milk

I saw the nutritionist again this morning and they reviewed my blood sugar readings. They were very inconsistent despite the consistencies of my diet. The biggest worry for them was my fasting reading (right after I wake up) and my hour after breakfast reading. They suggested I change my bagel and cream cheese breakfast to a 1/2 bagel and add a hard boiled egg. They also suggested I add cheese to my late night snack. They're giving my numbers until Friday to improve my blood sugar readings with these 2 adjustments otherwise I am going to have to give myself insulin injections at bedtime to try and make up for my fasting and post breakfast numbers. Keep those fingers crossed!!!

If I wasn't already worried about my food intake and making sure I get all the nutrients and diet requirements in - seriously who has time for all this monitoring haha- I also have to take all these supplements daily:

Folic Acid x3
Prenatal Vitamin x1
Iron with a shot of orange juice x1
Protein Powder mixed into my milk x2
Anti-nausea meds (there are 2 of them but i forget what they are called) one of them is at night to help me sleep and the other can be up to 3x a day as needed

I think that's about it... so I bet your diet is looking pretty good right about now right? In all seriousness the GD diet is not as bad as I thought. Like I said, it was pretty similar to my regular routine except now I can't have all the sweets... which can be hard. There was a point last night where I was almost in tears wishing I just had some starbursts. Luckily that can be blamed on pregnancy hormones and its gone just as quickly as it comes. It's also kinda nice taking out all the guesswork and the time it would take me to settle on what to eat. It's pretty black and white so its easy to remember, and easy to follow. I even like the fact that I get to 'work out' after each major meal. I was missing my active lifestyle, so even though its just a walk around the block or doing my stretches, it feels good.

I'll do my best to keep this updated on my progress and of course how it effects miss Averie Belle. Hopefully I'll get the chance to write about my holiday week and the roller coaster of emotions I experienced. Let's just say I'll be happy when the holidays pass!

Harry the Heart Monitor

Disclaimer: My spellcheck option isn't working for some reason, so please exuse any typos or any misspelled words ;)

This is Harry the Heart Monitor, my new friend.

All the hoopla over my recent diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes seems laughable now.I guess I do that to myself sometimes, there isn't much I can do about how I initially react to things, but I'm hoping as I am given more things to deal with, I get better at reacting to them... anyway back to my recent appointments.

I went to the 2-hour appointment with my husband and there were 2 other couples there. The way they do things in my Dr's office, which I find annoying, is force you to attend a class before your able to meet with specialists. They did it when I first got pregnant to- before you're able to pick a OB and a Midwife you have to go to this 3 hour class where they go over the basics and introduce all the Dr's to you. For an impatient person like me I would rather do all that research on my own and skip right to meeting with a specialist.

I left feeling discouraged because I am already eating the way they suggest. Besides my sweet tooth... and really i have like a sweet mouth because I really LOVE sweets, I am in pretty good shape to following the meal plans they suggest. My husband is optomistic too, and has agreed to start eating the same diet as me. The only part I'm not particularly excited about is adding so much meat into my diet, as I've said before I just dont really care for meat. I eat it when I crave it, but that's not very often. BUT... of course I'll do whatever i need to for my baby girl. So the diet part was fine with me, and even adding excersise is fine with me... its the poking of my finger that I'm not too crazy about. I guess I have sensitive fingers, because they said it's not supposed to hurt but each time it does and my fingers throb for a while afterwards. I'll have to research ways to allievate the sensitivity (if there are any) but it's nothing I can't handle. I'm looking forward to my one on one appointment with the nutritionist to personalize my meal plans.

I got to meet with my OB afterwards for my regular checkup and she explained a little more what I was looking at as far as my risk for having a C-Section. They were already concerned because I'm a small girl but we're all hoping I'll be able to keep the GD under control. She said a 7-pound baby would be my personal max. If Averie's over that (GD influenced or not) I'll have to be induced early. They would like to give me a chance to deliver vaginally like I want, but I have to be open to the possibility of needing a C-Section if Averie's on the larger side.

I always go to my check ups with a list of concerns or things I've been experienceing and one of them was these dizzy spells I've been having. They aren't super common but I've had them a handfull of times over the last 5 months or so. I get really hot and dizzy and my heart beats fast... sometimes my vision gets blurry. The last bad one I had was at work but luckily I was able to get myself off the floor and into the back room to put my head down. When I told my OB she didn't seem too concerned, she just told me to drink more water. I didn't press the issue because I felt rushed, but I knew I had been drinking plenty of water- I am ALWAYS thirsty. I figured I'd just ask my Midwife about it at my next appointment.

Later that night I was taking a shower and I started to feel a dizzy spell coming on. Luckily my husband was right there and helped me sit down in the tub and got me out. That time my vision actually blacked out but I could still hear him telling me what he was doing to help. He got me into bed and thought myabe my blood sugar was low and brought me some juice. I layed down and took a nap for about an hour and felt ok the rest of the night.

Then this morning as I was getting my breakfast together I felt a little 'fuzzy' but I didn't get too worried about it. About an hour later I started to get ready for my day and while I was putting on my makeup I felt another spell coming on. This time my vision didn't go away completly, it just got dimmer and I saw spots. I got really hot and my chest started to hurt as I felt my heart rate speed up. I went to sit down in my room (it was closest) until my vision came back. When it did I tried to eat a hard boiled egg thinking maybe I didnt have enough protein this morning. I still felt shakey for another 45 minutes so I called the OB advise nurse and they told me I needed to come in right away.

Luckily, my husband was able to come home and take me in. They gave me an EKG, a neurological exam, tested my oxygen and took my blood pressure. All normal. That left us with a big question mark. One thing I like about my general physician is he doesn't like to jump to conclusions or freak me out so he told me the next natural step is to eliminate things. The best way to do that in his opinion, was to hook me up to Harry for 24 hours. I can still go to work, and do my daily activities (which is nice because today was my dad's birthday and there is no way I was missing that!) but I have to go back tomorrow and have it taken off and do a stress test, and then wait for the results.

I'm strangely at ease... I don't think I'll ever be good at hearing bad news... or confusing news in this case, but I think when I hit my low point last week I also got to a point where I can't help but laugh now. Being told I had to be hooked up to a machine for 24 hours didn't do anything but make me laugh, which is strage for my loved ones because they are super concerned and I'm just going with the flow. I guess that's what happens when you max out on crap... which is probably a good thing for me at this point. I did come to the conclusion that I need to start seeing someone regularly to make sure my mental health is being taken care of too. I feel fine, but that may not always be the case.. as these things tend to sneak up on you. One thing I've learned throughout all this is that preventative medicine is nothing to mess around with.

Food Woes Shoved Aside

Originally I was working on a post to make you laugh about all the things I crave but cant eat. I thought i would be a nice change to write something silly, because for once things were going well and I didn't have much to write about. In a funny and pathetic way, the universe provided me something yesterday, so my funny Food Woes post is now a thing of the past because I need to figure out what snapped inside me yesterday to cause the full on melt down I experienced.

Before I write everything I should probably say a couple of disclaimers: 1. things could always be worse 2. while my problem may not seem like much compared to my past problems, I still feel like I got hit in the gut 3. life doesn't always go to plan blah blah blah!

I had to re-do my blood glucose test yesterday. I went into it pretty confident because I haven't had any symptoms of being diabetic and in general I eat pretty healthy. I was literally shocked when I received my test results and the numbers were crazy high. I tried not to panic knowing that my Dr would be calling me soon. Luckily I have very well versed friends and family on facebook who were able to give me a hint of what I could be expecting.

When the Dr finally called she explained that with my scores as high as they were they were going to move forward with the diagnosis of gestational diabetes and I had to attend a class next week explaining all the changes I was going to have to make. No problem... then she dropped the big one: her prediction based on my numbers was that I should start preparing myself to the reality that I will probably have to have a C-Section. Devastation.

To some people this may not be the worst news in the world, but to me it was earth shattering. Even with Mason I had planned on a natural birth and when we lost him I felt this huge loss of that experience. When we got pregnant with Averie I was so excited that I got another chance to experience a natural birth. I've been researching and planning and preparing myself to go through this, and I've been extremely excited about it. To hear that there was a 90% chance of that being taken away again I guess I just couldn't handle it.

The best I can describe is that I snapped inside. I called my husband and he could barely understand me as a crying mess. I literally cried for hours, I couldn't seem to pull myself together. I had multiple commitments last night that I just couldn't even fathom going to. I realize today (after some sleep) that I could have been told much worse but last night- which seems like a lifetime ago for some reason- I was inconsolable for about 5 hours.

I guess in a way I have hit my max on hearing about how my pregnancy is different. I felt like I keep getting robbed of what everyone gets to experience during their pregnancies. I just so so so so so badly want to experience a shred of normalcy while being pregnant. I know that's unrealistic in our situation blah blah blah... sue me. Everyone has a breaking point, and yesterday was mine. I'll do the diet, I'll do the exercise... I'll do anything to keep my birth plan. That may sound silly to some, but getting the chance to experience a natural birth... I just can't handle that being taken away from me.

I cant help feeling like around every corner there is another way that I get jipped on this experience, and it makes my dream of having a big family become smaller and smaller. I'm not sure I can go through all this again. Right now anyway, it feels impossible. I'm sure that will change, and I hope it does... but for now I think Averie is it for me. There is only so much you can take when you are told all these different things you can and can't do- and I actually follow them- and still have shitty outcomes.

I guess there wasn't much to figure out here... I'm just emotionally exhausted and while I feel like a baby, I know its important to own my emotions... no matter how embarrassing they are the next day.