It's 11:30 at night which for me feels like 3am... what can i say i like to go to bed early... any who- i can't sleep and i thought it might help if i do the 'write down your thoughts' thing. However, a lot of the things that are keeping me from sleeping are too heavy and draining to write about right now. I would rather pretend they don't exist... at least for tonight and focus on the one that makes me laugh: my chest. That's right, i would like to write a blog post about my ta-tas. I highly doubt that i have any male readers, but if there are this is your cue to move on... same goes for family i suppose.
One of the things that keeps me awake nightly is trying to find a position i am comfortable in without squishing my chest. For those who were lucky when pregnant, or you just haven't experienced it yet- your chest gets extremely sore and uncomfortable when those hormones hit. Imagine if you will, that they feel like they are being stretched from your body and every time you move you feel every cell in your chest shift and lets just say it doesn't feel good. At all.
I was blessed with a larger than most chest when i was young... 6th grade as my mom likes to remind me. Having a large chest at a young age is a blessing and a curse. What did Spiderman's uncle tell him- "With great power comes great responsibility" or something like that... don't worry- i don't take the powers of my nice rack that seriously, but there is some truth to it. Lets go over the pros and cons shall we:
Pros:
Instant popularity with boys
Better fitting clothes
Cuter bras
Confidence
Free stuff
Cons:
Instant 'slut' title from other girls - can't all our cup sizes just get along?
Instant 'she's trying to steal my boyfriend' - I wasn't (Just FYI)
Instant shame whenever there is a photo of you picking something up or leaning into a photo
Instant jealousy from people who pay full price
I secretly loved my chest, but if you admit that in high school then you basically accept the title of slut, and since they did most of the talking themselves, when ever someone would mention how 'well porportioned' i was i would play the 'what? your crazy!' card and remind them that i was only a B cup. I got teased a lot that no matter what style of shirt i wore my girls were on display. I even had a phase where i would only wear t-shirts and Polo's to try to detract attention... but that seemed to only attract more attention (it probably didn't help that while my neck line was conservative they were skin tight everywhere else lol). Not until my 20's did i find out from a very nice lady at Nordstroms that i was in fact a DD and had been living my life in an uncomfortable B for no reason other than to tell people they were crazy. That trip was eye opening, back pain relieving and expensive ;)
I digress...
As my pregnancy continues so has my bust size. I read in all the books that i would probably go up a cup or so but i have already out grown all of my DD's and it will only be a short time that i outgrow the bras my mom has given me- she's pretty large too but she cuts out all the tags so i have no idea what size I've been wearing. I read that a sports bra can help with comfort so i went and got a couple Larges... only to outgrow them a few weeks later. I went and got some XL's (which is really the only time I've ever been happy about having to buy that size- well that and the fact i shop in the kids sections still... i digress again... damn sleepless brain!)
Between the larger bras and sports bras whenever i wear them i feel this strange pressure right under my chest but above my stomach... i thought it was heart burn until i took off whatever i was wearing and it went away. I think the things are just too damn heavy- even my husband has said they are rounder and heavier- for the record we were applying stretch mark creme while making this discovery so get your mind out of the gutter!
So now i try not to wear anything and just deal with the milked cow sensation instead, because at least when i don't move it doesn't hurt. I will admit, while i was terrified that they would keep growing, even i am impressed when i catch a glimpse of them... but seriously... how big are these things going to get???
I have officially cleared my head of some strange and funny (to me) dialogue, so maybe now i can try to get some sleep...
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Dear Muffin
12/15/11
Dear Muffin,
A few days ago our doctor told me to take some time off work because i have been too sick to do very much. It's 10 days until Christmas and my orders are to take care of myself so that you stay safe in my belly.
I haven't been happy about the idea of staying in- I'm an on the go kinda girl. Just now though, I was so overcome with happiness that I had to share it with you.
I've been feeling awful all day but for some reason today has been special- even if nothing special has been happening. Daddy and i got to sleep in, which doesn't happen a lot. I woke up with both kitties purring on me (but that happens every morning, and I'll let you in on a secret- for those few minutes before i get up I feel just like Cinderella)
Daddy turned on the Christmas tree for me so i would walk into the room and see it when i got up. I hope you develop my love for Christmas trees too! We spent the day lounging on the couch together cuddling with you and the kitties.
Back to the moment of happy: I was on the couch with the kitties cuddling and Daddy was in the kitchen making his famous mac-n-cheese (the only thing you allow me to keep down most of the time- maybe its a clue for what you'll demand at dinner) and it hit me all of the sudden just how happy I am. Our lives aren't particularly exciting, but I think some of my favorite times are when Daddy and I are at home doing nothing together- and then I touched my growing belly and felt a tear go down my cheek.
I cant wait to add you into our nothing days. For a few minutes I forgot about my headache and my nausea and felt pure happiness. You never know how many moments like that you will get in life, so I thought I would share it with you.
I love you,
Mommy
Dear Muffin,
A few days ago our doctor told me to take some time off work because i have been too sick to do very much. It's 10 days until Christmas and my orders are to take care of myself so that you stay safe in my belly.
I haven't been happy about the idea of staying in- I'm an on the go kinda girl. Just now though, I was so overcome with happiness that I had to share it with you.
I've been feeling awful all day but for some reason today has been special- even if nothing special has been happening. Daddy and i got to sleep in, which doesn't happen a lot. I woke up with both kitties purring on me (but that happens every morning, and I'll let you in on a secret- for those few minutes before i get up I feel just like Cinderella)
Daddy turned on the Christmas tree for me so i would walk into the room and see it when i got up. I hope you develop my love for Christmas trees too! We spent the day lounging on the couch together cuddling with you and the kitties.
Back to the moment of happy: I was on the couch with the kitties cuddling and Daddy was in the kitchen making his famous mac-n-cheese (the only thing you allow me to keep down most of the time- maybe its a clue for what you'll demand at dinner) and it hit me all of the sudden just how happy I am. Our lives aren't particularly exciting, but I think some of my favorite times are when Daddy and I are at home doing nothing together- and then I touched my growing belly and felt a tear go down my cheek.
I cant wait to add you into our nothing days. For a few minutes I forgot about my headache and my nausea and felt pure happiness. You never know how many moments like that you will get in life, so I thought I would share it with you.
I love you,
Mommy
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Thanks for telling me how i feel...
Lately, I've been more vocal about the hardships with my pregnancy. As i participate in forums, pregnancy apps and books i feel like I'm being frowned upon and have been downright told that I'm already a 'bad mom' and that 'i don't really feel that way'. I don't understand how either of these are possible. Here is why:
A bad mom: My baby is only a peach, and I'm doing everything in my power to be healthy. Although our little muffin is giving me the worst time right now, i am diligent in taking my multi vitamins and even adding in vitamins for the things the baby just flat out wont allow me to have. I cant tell you the last time i was able to drink milk without gagging, so instead i endure the chalky 2x a day vitamin, i also take a strong pre-natal, vitamin d, vitamin c, stool softeners (a whole other problem that I'll spare you the details) and i have now added a ginger vitamin in hopes to ease my nausea.
I take a very strong anti-nausea medicine that makes me want to sleep and my limbs feel like they are all tingly- but i do it because its the only way i can function most of the time. I am maxed out on the other type of anti-nausea dissolvable that i take 3x a day. I also have these ginger based hard candies called Peggy drops- and even with this entire regimen of anti-nausea helpers, i still can hardly keep down water. Oh, and don't get me started on the 'hormone headaches' that plague me in the middle of the night. And the peeing- oh lord is there a lot of peeing!
Its amazing how long the list of things that you are 'supposed' to do each day when you are pregnant. Eat a million different things, take all your vitamins, drink tons of water, get 8 hours of sleep (puh-lease) oh and be the glowing representation of a super mom and do it all with a freakin smile.
its not going to happen.
This brings me to the second part I'm having an issue with: people telling me that i don't really feel the way i do about being pregnant. Let me start off by saying that i LOVE my baby more than anything on this earth, i will do anything for my muffin- which i think the above clearly shows- but that doesn't mean that i have to pretend that its the most magical experience of my life right now. I'm sorry, but when a good day is only chucking 3x a day instead of 5 or more, its kinda hard to be the cheery barefoot and pregnant drone we see on TV and in society. Actually i take it back, I'm not sorry.
I keep a journal of everything i experience so one day our muffin can read it and see how we were as parents from the very beginning. I don't hold back on how I'm feeling right now, i think if our muffin is a girl she might appreciate knowing what she might be in for when its her turn. Either way, i want our muffin to know the truth- i refuse to be one of those parents that sugar coats everything and refrains from telling the truth. I don't believe that will make me a bad mom then either.
I should give some background.. i wanted this baby so badly. I prayed and hoped for it every single day and now that it has come true, i couldn't be more grateful. I guess i just don't understand why that means that i have to pretend to enjoy what i am going through, because the truth is i am more miserable than i have been in my entire life- but despite what some naysayers might think- its possible to be miserable and thankful at the same time.
Before we got pregnant i saw MANY people who don't deserve to be parents, that is just the truth. Sadly i know just as many people that would make incredible parents, but its just not in the cards for them. It doesn't seem fair, but i am not God and i do not call the shots. Before, when i saw an obviously young girl buying a pregnancy test with a freaked out expression on her face my heart would hurt for the people that i could picture being in that same situation with a completely different face on: pure joy. So now that its me and i complain about my severe symptoms, i feel even worse because i know there are people out there who would kill to be in my shoes- even if those shoes are puke green.
What I am getting at, is that even though i am hating what i am going through, I'm so very grateful for each symptom because it means everything is on track. I know that it will all be worth it in the end, i cant wait for that time when i actually get to enjoy what i am going through. But why do i have to feel like i need to lie about it right now- why cant i say what i really think- that being pregnant is not this beautiful thing, at least for right now? And why am i left being told that i am a bad mom, or that i don't feel that way, just because its not what is expected?
I could go on forever... let me end with this...
Dear Muffin,
i love you without knowing you, but you have deserved the mullet you will eventually have.
Love,
your truth telling, loud mouth, doesn't need your advise, bad mommy
A bad mom: My baby is only a peach, and I'm doing everything in my power to be healthy. Although our little muffin is giving me the worst time right now, i am diligent in taking my multi vitamins and even adding in vitamins for the things the baby just flat out wont allow me to have. I cant tell you the last time i was able to drink milk without gagging, so instead i endure the chalky 2x a day vitamin, i also take a strong pre-natal, vitamin d, vitamin c, stool softeners (a whole other problem that I'll spare you the details) and i have now added a ginger vitamin in hopes to ease my nausea.
I take a very strong anti-nausea medicine that makes me want to sleep and my limbs feel like they are all tingly- but i do it because its the only way i can function most of the time. I am maxed out on the other type of anti-nausea dissolvable that i take 3x a day. I also have these ginger based hard candies called Peggy drops- and even with this entire regimen of anti-nausea helpers, i still can hardly keep down water. Oh, and don't get me started on the 'hormone headaches' that plague me in the middle of the night. And the peeing- oh lord is there a lot of peeing!
Its amazing how long the list of things that you are 'supposed' to do each day when you are pregnant. Eat a million different things, take all your vitamins, drink tons of water, get 8 hours of sleep (puh-lease) oh and be the glowing representation of a super mom and do it all with a freakin smile.
its not going to happen.
This brings me to the second part I'm having an issue with: people telling me that i don't really feel the way i do about being pregnant. Let me start off by saying that i LOVE my baby more than anything on this earth, i will do anything for my muffin- which i think the above clearly shows- but that doesn't mean that i have to pretend that its the most magical experience of my life right now. I'm sorry, but when a good day is only chucking 3x a day instead of 5 or more, its kinda hard to be the cheery barefoot and pregnant drone we see on TV and in society. Actually i take it back, I'm not sorry.
I keep a journal of everything i experience so one day our muffin can read it and see how we were as parents from the very beginning. I don't hold back on how I'm feeling right now, i think if our muffin is a girl she might appreciate knowing what she might be in for when its her turn. Either way, i want our muffin to know the truth- i refuse to be one of those parents that sugar coats everything and refrains from telling the truth. I don't believe that will make me a bad mom then either.
I should give some background.. i wanted this baby so badly. I prayed and hoped for it every single day and now that it has come true, i couldn't be more grateful. I guess i just don't understand why that means that i have to pretend to enjoy what i am going through, because the truth is i am more miserable than i have been in my entire life- but despite what some naysayers might think- its possible to be miserable and thankful at the same time.
Before we got pregnant i saw MANY people who don't deserve to be parents, that is just the truth. Sadly i know just as many people that would make incredible parents, but its just not in the cards for them. It doesn't seem fair, but i am not God and i do not call the shots. Before, when i saw an obviously young girl buying a pregnancy test with a freaked out expression on her face my heart would hurt for the people that i could picture being in that same situation with a completely different face on: pure joy. So now that its me and i complain about my severe symptoms, i feel even worse because i know there are people out there who would kill to be in my shoes- even if those shoes are puke green.
What I am getting at, is that even though i am hating what i am going through, I'm so very grateful for each symptom because it means everything is on track. I know that it will all be worth it in the end, i cant wait for that time when i actually get to enjoy what i am going through. But why do i have to feel like i need to lie about it right now- why cant i say what i really think- that being pregnant is not this beautiful thing, at least for right now? And why am i left being told that i am a bad mom, or that i don't feel that way, just because its not what is expected?
I could go on forever... let me end with this...
Dear Muffin,
i love you without knowing you, but you have deserved the mullet you will eventually have.
Love,
your truth telling, loud mouth, doesn't need your advise, bad mommy
Saturday, December 3, 2011
i heart a good IV!
Yesterday i spent most of my day in Urgent Care. If you don't have access to a UC, or if you are unfamiliar with it, my Dr's office offers an urgent care program for non-emergencies but urgent matters. Its nice because you don't get charged like you do for an ER, and all your medical records are already there. Yesterday was my first time using it, and i will never go back to going to the ER. It was even worth the hour and 15 minute drive. (we don't live close to my Dr but i don't want to move offices).
Sadly, i am no stranger to needing immediate medical attention. A few posts back will describe my last stay in the ER next to where we live. This time, I became severely dehydrated which is a problem when you are pregnant. I am very blessed to have so many people that care about me and want to know the whole story, so i decided to put it all in here. Disclaimer: there will be talk of poop, pee and puke here.. AND I'm not good at telling a short story lol
It all started on Thursday. Throughout the day i was having pain similar to when i have ovarian cysts in my sides whenever i would stand or stretch out. I was off that day so i spent it laying in bed trying not to move. When my husband finally got home, i remember being mad because he was gone ALL day on my day off and i hadn't felt well, which always makes me want him home more- he makes everything better. We aren't really fighters, i can count on 1 hand the amount of actual fights we've had in 6 1/2 years. We are more of the discussion type. When we disagree we talk it out, and most of the time (even when I'm right) i always feel a little sick because i don't like when we have these disagreements. So i went to bed not feeling the best. I thought our discussion was why.
I woke up at about 4am Friday morning with the worst dry mouth so i drank some water (faster than i should have) and when i laid down i really didn't feel well. I got my emergency bowl and put it by my bed just in case, and eventually fell asleep. Then i woke up again at 5:30am and needed to pee. When i was going i felt a sharp pain in my side again. I had remembered reading that pain while peeing is something you should report to your Dr asap, but me being stubborn i decided it was just because i hadn't felt well all day. I went back to bed.
My alarm for work went off at 6:30 and i got up and immediately made my breakfast to ward off any morning sickness. I still had dry mouth so i ate my cereal pretty quickly and then started to do my makeup. About 10 minutes in i knew that i was going to be sick. This is something I'm used to so when i was done getting rid of my breakfast i went back to getting ready. The only thing i thought was weird was that so MUCH came out when all i had eaten was cereal. Then about 10 minutes later i felt the need to hurl again, but this time it was all bile and this weird foam. (hey i warned you about TMI). It actually made me late because i started sweating really bad and felt dizzy so i had to sit down for a while.
I went to work and right when i got there i felt the sensation again. And Again. And Again. And Again. I know what your thinking, why didn't i just go home? Well, I've been missing a lot of work lately because of this stupid morning sickness, and we were getting a visit from someone important so i was doing my best to be a trooper. Unfortunately in the 4 hours i was there i threw up over 10 times (all the mystery bile-foam concoction). Around 10am while i was getting sick i got really dizzy and saw these black dots pop up in my vision and i knew for sure, that this wasn't normal.
I called my midwife, and after they assessed my symptoms they suggested that i come into urgent care. I was still being stubborn so i asked if there was anything i could try first. They told me to eat a few bites of food and drink some ginger ale, and if i couldn't go an hour without holding it down then i needed to come in. I ate 2 tiny pretzels and drank a little ginger ale and went back to work. Not even 20 mins later i was making a b-line for the rest room. This time it was so painful that i started crying and knew i needed to call my husband to pick me up.
While i was waiting for him, i could feel myself start to pass out. I had laid my head down on a desk and felt my vision go dark, but i could still hear everything around me. (i am very lucky to have such great co-workers that take care of me). Surprisingly when this was happening i didn't freak out, its happened before i and i know to just wait until my vision returns. I got sick 3 more times waiting for my husband to drive the 25 minute commute from our house to my job.
When he picked me up we tried to figure out where the best place for me was to go. We could go to the local ER that is only 10 mins away, or we could go to urgent care which was a much longer drive. In the end i decided to go where all my Dr's were, and my decision was confirmed during our drive when my midwife called and made sure i was getting help.
When we walked in there was a line out the door and i got a little worried. Luckily there was someone directing traffic and told us that we can go to the shorter line for UC. The wait is usually an hour but i didn't even sit down before they called me in. I was taken to an exam room where a very nice nurse took all my vitals, and asked me all my symptoms. The poor guy didn't know i was pregnant though, so when i mentioned that i was 12.5 weeks he was grateful because he said he "would have looked like a huge idiot" when he got the doctor and left that part out. He was very nice and made us laugh a lot, which caused me to need to run to the restroom again to be sick. This time it was just foam, not even yellow.
When the Dr came in she checked my throat and was immediately concerned. She said my throat looked like sand paper, which is a telltale sign of dehydration. She recommended that i get hooked up to an IV and she wanted to run some tests. First though, she wanted to check on the baby's heartbeat. Now, my poor husband is so busy that he has missed every appointment that they check on the baby. He still hasn't seen it on the screen, and he hasn't heard the heart beat. So both of us got excited that she was going to use a Doppler (which is only auditory not visual). We both waited, and although this Dr was very nice, she was very spastic when it came to working the Doppler and couldn't find it. I felt really bad for my husband, but we couldn't spend all day trying to find it. She said it was too early (even though i heard it at my 11wk apt- i think she just didn't know what she was doing).
I was taken to a room called 'the observation room' that looked like a hospital. It had a bunch of beds in it but we were the only ones there. My hubby was even excited because he got a comfy chair- its the small victories ha ha. They asked me for a urine sample but since i hadn't gone since 5:30am -it was probably 2 at this point- i wasn't sure i could. I was successful but it barely covered the bottom of the small container they gave me. At least it was something- another small victory!
My nurse was fantastic, i have had an IV put in at the ER and it hurt so freaking bad, and the bag hardly drained. This time, i honestly didn't even feel it, or when she was taking blood. She was very sweet and kept me company while my hubbs got some food in the cafeteria. Then there was a shift change and they gave me a new, equally awesome nurse. I texted my mom, because she was waiting on me to call her anyway and i didn't want her to worry. Her reply back was surprising "what room are you in?". My entire family goes to the same practice that i do, and my mom is a medical marvel (worthy of another post later) and it actually wouldn't be the strangest thing in the world if she was in the next building.
Turns out she was at target which is a few doors down so she came and sat with us while the IV dripped. The nurse kept coming in to check the IV and was surprised each time how fast my body was absorbing it. I started to feel better, until i tried to turn over. I felt a huge wave of nausea hit and my stomach felt rock hard. I turned onto my back again and instantly felt better. I let the nurse know, so before she let me do anything she had me drink 2 cups of powerade and had me walk with her around the halls. She thought it was strange that i still didn't need to pee even after the entire IV bag had drained into me.
I went back to my bed and the Dr came in with my results. She said that it was good that i came in when i did because my levels were severely low. We were still waiting on my potassium levels to come back from the lab, so i stayed put. It was kind of strange to hear there actually was something wrong with me. I know that must sound strange after the spots, vomiting and passing out, but i always just assume I'm fine. All i could think about while i was there was 'this needs to be the only one, that was too scary' but what i voiced to everyone was "this kid is getting a mullet for this!" I'm not very good at voicing my true concerns, especially with an audience, so i played it off like i was joking around, but really i was terrified.
Eventually the nurse came back to tell us that my potassium level was at the low end of normal, so if i had waited to come in like i wanted to, my potassium would have dropped to a dangerous level for the baby. She prescribed bananas as long as i was still feeling OK. I really wanted to leave so i said i was good. My mom decided to finish her errands and my husband decided to follow through with the bananas and took me to Jamba Juice. Once is started drinking it, and realized that it wasn't going to come back up i started to feel- AMAZING. lol
I felt like Ive never been sick in my entire life. It was like everything i had felt the last 24hours was a bad dream, and i couldn't imagine feeling bad again. I even had a BM, which for most pregnant women is not a pleasant experience from all the iron in prenatal vitamins and anti nausea meds. It had been 3 days, and this is the first time in a month that it wasn't painful. My IV high lasted a few hours, but then i got a head ache (from not having any nutrients in me). After everything i had gone through, i would take a head ache. I wish i had known how good i would feel after getting an IV, because i would have rushed my ass in much, much earlier.
I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, i still have a head ache. The Dr told me to get as much bed rest as possible today and tomorrow, so i am being pampered by my parents in my hometown, thankful that if i have to do this anywhere, at least its here with them. The only thing that would make it better is if my husband didn't have to work and could be here too. I'm thankful for the people that i work with for being so understanding and amazing. the nurses that work at UC, and that my baby is healthy. I wont take my symptoms lightly in the future, that lesson i have learned.
Sadly, i am no stranger to needing immediate medical attention. A few posts back will describe my last stay in the ER next to where we live. This time, I became severely dehydrated which is a problem when you are pregnant. I am very blessed to have so many people that care about me and want to know the whole story, so i decided to put it all in here. Disclaimer: there will be talk of poop, pee and puke here.. AND I'm not good at telling a short story lol
It all started on Thursday. Throughout the day i was having pain similar to when i have ovarian cysts in my sides whenever i would stand or stretch out. I was off that day so i spent it laying in bed trying not to move. When my husband finally got home, i remember being mad because he was gone ALL day on my day off and i hadn't felt well, which always makes me want him home more- he makes everything better. We aren't really fighters, i can count on 1 hand the amount of actual fights we've had in 6 1/2 years. We are more of the discussion type. When we disagree we talk it out, and most of the time (even when I'm right) i always feel a little sick because i don't like when we have these disagreements. So i went to bed not feeling the best. I thought our discussion was why.
I woke up at about 4am Friday morning with the worst dry mouth so i drank some water (faster than i should have) and when i laid down i really didn't feel well. I got my emergency bowl and put it by my bed just in case, and eventually fell asleep. Then i woke up again at 5:30am and needed to pee. When i was going i felt a sharp pain in my side again. I had remembered reading that pain while peeing is something you should report to your Dr asap, but me being stubborn i decided it was just because i hadn't felt well all day. I went back to bed.
My alarm for work went off at 6:30 and i got up and immediately made my breakfast to ward off any morning sickness. I still had dry mouth so i ate my cereal pretty quickly and then started to do my makeup. About 10 minutes in i knew that i was going to be sick. This is something I'm used to so when i was done getting rid of my breakfast i went back to getting ready. The only thing i thought was weird was that so MUCH came out when all i had eaten was cereal. Then about 10 minutes later i felt the need to hurl again, but this time it was all bile and this weird foam. (hey i warned you about TMI). It actually made me late because i started sweating really bad and felt dizzy so i had to sit down for a while.
I went to work and right when i got there i felt the sensation again. And Again. And Again. And Again. I know what your thinking, why didn't i just go home? Well, I've been missing a lot of work lately because of this stupid morning sickness, and we were getting a visit from someone important so i was doing my best to be a trooper. Unfortunately in the 4 hours i was there i threw up over 10 times (all the mystery bile-foam concoction). Around 10am while i was getting sick i got really dizzy and saw these black dots pop up in my vision and i knew for sure, that this wasn't normal.
I called my midwife, and after they assessed my symptoms they suggested that i come into urgent care. I was still being stubborn so i asked if there was anything i could try first. They told me to eat a few bites of food and drink some ginger ale, and if i couldn't go an hour without holding it down then i needed to come in. I ate 2 tiny pretzels and drank a little ginger ale and went back to work. Not even 20 mins later i was making a b-line for the rest room. This time it was so painful that i started crying and knew i needed to call my husband to pick me up.
While i was waiting for him, i could feel myself start to pass out. I had laid my head down on a desk and felt my vision go dark, but i could still hear everything around me. (i am very lucky to have such great co-workers that take care of me). Surprisingly when this was happening i didn't freak out, its happened before i and i know to just wait until my vision returns. I got sick 3 more times waiting for my husband to drive the 25 minute commute from our house to my job.
When he picked me up we tried to figure out where the best place for me was to go. We could go to the local ER that is only 10 mins away, or we could go to urgent care which was a much longer drive. In the end i decided to go where all my Dr's were, and my decision was confirmed during our drive when my midwife called and made sure i was getting help.
When we walked in there was a line out the door and i got a little worried. Luckily there was someone directing traffic and told us that we can go to the shorter line for UC. The wait is usually an hour but i didn't even sit down before they called me in. I was taken to an exam room where a very nice nurse took all my vitals, and asked me all my symptoms. The poor guy didn't know i was pregnant though, so when i mentioned that i was 12.5 weeks he was grateful because he said he "would have looked like a huge idiot" when he got the doctor and left that part out. He was very nice and made us laugh a lot, which caused me to need to run to the restroom again to be sick. This time it was just foam, not even yellow.
When the Dr came in she checked my throat and was immediately concerned. She said my throat looked like sand paper, which is a telltale sign of dehydration. She recommended that i get hooked up to an IV and she wanted to run some tests. First though, she wanted to check on the baby's heartbeat. Now, my poor husband is so busy that he has missed every appointment that they check on the baby. He still hasn't seen it on the screen, and he hasn't heard the heart beat. So both of us got excited that she was going to use a Doppler (which is only auditory not visual). We both waited, and although this Dr was very nice, she was very spastic when it came to working the Doppler and couldn't find it. I felt really bad for my husband, but we couldn't spend all day trying to find it. She said it was too early (even though i heard it at my 11wk apt- i think she just didn't know what she was doing).
I was taken to a room called 'the observation room' that looked like a hospital. It had a bunch of beds in it but we were the only ones there. My hubby was even excited because he got a comfy chair- its the small victories ha ha. They asked me for a urine sample but since i hadn't gone since 5:30am -it was probably 2 at this point- i wasn't sure i could. I was successful but it barely covered the bottom of the small container they gave me. At least it was something- another small victory!
My nurse was fantastic, i have had an IV put in at the ER and it hurt so freaking bad, and the bag hardly drained. This time, i honestly didn't even feel it, or when she was taking blood. She was very sweet and kept me company while my hubbs got some food in the cafeteria. Then there was a shift change and they gave me a new, equally awesome nurse. I texted my mom, because she was waiting on me to call her anyway and i didn't want her to worry. Her reply back was surprising "what room are you in?". My entire family goes to the same practice that i do, and my mom is a medical marvel (worthy of another post later) and it actually wouldn't be the strangest thing in the world if she was in the next building.
Turns out she was at target which is a few doors down so she came and sat with us while the IV dripped. The nurse kept coming in to check the IV and was surprised each time how fast my body was absorbing it. I started to feel better, until i tried to turn over. I felt a huge wave of nausea hit and my stomach felt rock hard. I turned onto my back again and instantly felt better. I let the nurse know, so before she let me do anything she had me drink 2 cups of powerade and had me walk with her around the halls. She thought it was strange that i still didn't need to pee even after the entire IV bag had drained into me.
I went back to my bed and the Dr came in with my results. She said that it was good that i came in when i did because my levels were severely low. We were still waiting on my potassium levels to come back from the lab, so i stayed put. It was kind of strange to hear there actually was something wrong with me. I know that must sound strange after the spots, vomiting and passing out, but i always just assume I'm fine. All i could think about while i was there was 'this needs to be the only one, that was too scary' but what i voiced to everyone was "this kid is getting a mullet for this!" I'm not very good at voicing my true concerns, especially with an audience, so i played it off like i was joking around, but really i was terrified.
Eventually the nurse came back to tell us that my potassium level was at the low end of normal, so if i had waited to come in like i wanted to, my potassium would have dropped to a dangerous level for the baby. She prescribed bananas as long as i was still feeling OK. I really wanted to leave so i said i was good. My mom decided to finish her errands and my husband decided to follow through with the bananas and took me to Jamba Juice. Once is started drinking it, and realized that it wasn't going to come back up i started to feel- AMAZING. lol
I felt like Ive never been sick in my entire life. It was like everything i had felt the last 24hours was a bad dream, and i couldn't imagine feeling bad again. I even had a BM, which for most pregnant women is not a pleasant experience from all the iron in prenatal vitamins and anti nausea meds. It had been 3 days, and this is the first time in a month that it wasn't painful. My IV high lasted a few hours, but then i got a head ache (from not having any nutrients in me). After everything i had gone through, i would take a head ache. I wish i had known how good i would feel after getting an IV, because i would have rushed my ass in much, much earlier.
I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, i still have a head ache. The Dr told me to get as much bed rest as possible today and tomorrow, so i am being pampered by my parents in my hometown, thankful that if i have to do this anywhere, at least its here with them. The only thing that would make it better is if my husband didn't have to work and could be here too. I'm thankful for the people that i work with for being so understanding and amazing. the nurses that work at UC, and that my baby is healthy. I wont take my symptoms lightly in the future, that lesson i have learned.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Dear Santa
Since you gave me my Christmas wish early this year, i thought i would write a new list of things to wish for.
1. Take Amy Grant's 'Grown Up Christmas List' and pretend its me singing
2. Take away my craving for beer... its seriously unfair!
3. Continue to bless our baby... i hope Muffin is healthy and happy in there- i know this isn't really your domain, but i thought I'd add it anyway...
4. Make the crazy kids that play outside until 10pm have an earlier bedtime I'm pretty sure they are on your Naughty List
5. Can you send me some inspiration? My already minuscule writing and painting skills are quickly becoming extinct. Can you package inspiration because i would really appreciate it.
6. Bring me and Lili an extra large bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos, i cant get enough of those things!
7. Please don't let me ever get tired of Christmas Music and sitting next to a lit tree- I'm pretty sure you have control over that
8. Snow... even if its some frost on my car or in a snow cone, i think no holiday season should pass without some fluffy goodness!
9. Can you please add a house to the top of our list? You did it for that kid in Miracle on 34th Street and i have been good for YEARS now- i want to cash in! Plus, it would keep all of our sentences from starting with "When we finally have a house"
10. Replace all the showings on TV of 'A Christmas Story' (BARF!) with showings of Elf
Oh.. and a Kinect would be nice too!
Yours truly,
Christmas Should Be All Year Rounds fan club president
1. Take Amy Grant's 'Grown Up Christmas List' and pretend its me singing
2. Take away my craving for beer... its seriously unfair!
3. Continue to bless our baby... i hope Muffin is healthy and happy in there- i know this isn't really your domain, but i thought I'd add it anyway...
4. Make the crazy kids that play outside until 10pm have an earlier bedtime I'm pretty sure they are on your Naughty List
5. Can you send me some inspiration? My already minuscule writing and painting skills are quickly becoming extinct. Can you package inspiration because i would really appreciate it.
6. Bring me and Lili an extra large bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos, i cant get enough of those things!
7. Please don't let me ever get tired of Christmas Music and sitting next to a lit tree- I'm pretty sure you have control over that
8. Snow... even if its some frost on my car or in a snow cone, i think no holiday season should pass without some fluffy goodness!
9. Can you please add a house to the top of our list? You did it for that kid in Miracle on 34th Street and i have been good for YEARS now- i want to cash in! Plus, it would keep all of our sentences from starting with "When we finally have a house"
10. Replace all the showings on TV of 'A Christmas Story' (BARF!) with showings of Elf
Oh.. and a Kinect would be nice too!
Yours truly,
Christmas Should Be All Year Rounds fan club president
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